The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
