better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
