So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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