brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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