so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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