Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
