so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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