i already hear my dad disowning me
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
