You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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