Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
