if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
