btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You did what with his pubic hair?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
