so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
