I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
