after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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