I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
