Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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