What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
