awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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