i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
