marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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