I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
