READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Are my feet made of real feet?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
