I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
