No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
