Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
