I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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