guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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