Where did you get a picture of my penis
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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