everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Life without a bra equals bliss.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
