Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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