I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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