I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
