She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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