apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
