i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
