I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
