So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
