Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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