I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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