we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
