i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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