Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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