i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
