There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
