hell yes lets make some ravioli
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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