Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
