There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
