Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
