If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
